


The Grumpy Lion

by CaptainTarthister



Series: The Lannisters Are Coming [19]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Bad Dirty Talk, Bang City, Birthday Sex, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Jaime is Fifty, Married Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 10:22:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10807164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainTarthister/pseuds/CaptainTarthister
Summary: Jaime turns fifty and is NOT happy.Brienne has an idea on how to change his mind.





	The Grumpy Lion

**Author's Note:**

> Taking a break from my new (and angsty as hell) fanfic series, Blue Awakening.

Despite her face being warm and pink, Brienne was grinning and her toes curled, uncurled, then back in anticipation. Her eyes were bright sapphires as she looked out the window and watched the sun break from the horizon. Behind her, Jaime slept peacefully, his breath warming her nape, his hand firm around the breast he clutched from under her shirt. She cradled his hand there, loving the warm, secure feel of his hold.

When Jaime woke up, he sighed, nuzzled her shoulder and stretched his legs. He burrowed deeper against her body while the hand around her breast tightened. She blushed anew as his erection prodded at her bare hip.

Waking up next to your husband’s boner got old after a while but not for Brienne. They have been married for nine years. While they knew which buttons to push figuratively and literally (Jaime declared with a knowing smirk that hers was the only one he had access to, being that, ahem, only he was strong enough to push those ‘pillars’ open), they were still as intrigued and interested in each other as during the early days of their relationship. Maybe even more. They celebrated and appreciated each other’s success and stood by each other during disappointments.

As for the passion—that was hardly a problem. Though it was their bed, the shower, the bathtub or any flat surface in the bedroom that they fucked on most of the time, they still managed to do it every now and then beyond these confines. Just three days ago, Brienne gave Jaime a blow job at his desk during work hours at LSM Creatives. She had no idea what possessed her to such a brazen act in the bright light of day, in an office with glass walls where people outside could clearly see what was happening. Jaime’s relaxed smirk was worth it, though. When he saw her off, Bronn walked up to them, took one look at Jaime and retorted that “Pretty boy looks like a besotted idiot once again.” Brienne couldn’t dive into the elevator fast enough while Jaime laughed and ripped at his best friend for looking like had a giant stick up his saggy ass.

Now Brienne grinned and turned a deeper shade of red as Jaime’s lips and hands got working. With a happy hum, she turned and kissed him, loving the feel of his warm breath clouding her tongue, his hand playing with her tits under the shirt. His other arm snuck under her shoulders to hold her closer to him. She pushed her fingers through his wonderfully thick golden hair, with some strands gleaming silver in the sun.

As it often went with them, Brienne was out of her clothes faster than Jaime—she didn’t wear bottoms to bed anymore, not even panties. This was very pleasing to her husband, and to her as well. She worked to help him catch up with her, reaching for his worn t-shirt and pulling at it.

The hard, bunched muscles of his thighs were warm against her own. Sometimes he wore boxers to bed. Sometimes he wore nothing. This morning was the latter.

She threw his t-shirt away and he chuckled. Lovingly, she cupped his beautiful jaw in her hands and kissed him, falling on her back as she did. He was heavy and hard, the firm muscles of his body settling nicely on the curves her last two pregnancies gave her. In Jaime’s arms, she forgot about her heavier build and had no concept of cellulite.

They have always been loud—something they tried to curb as the children were growing but just couldn’t. Brienne was panting loudly and grunting as Jaime hungrily sucked her nipples, proclaiming in between wet, open-mouthed kisses around and on her small tits that he was going to make her come hard. She groaned and chanted his name as his fingers fucked her vigorously, a thumb abusing her swollen clit. She clutched at his shoulders, clung to him with her long legs. His body rippled in her arms like a smooth wave, muscles shifting as he rubbed against her.

“Jaime,” she gasped. “Please.”

She reached between him, seeking the thick column of his cock. There. Warm. Hard. Smooth velvet over steel. Jaime breathed, “My wife,” in her ear as she took him and rubbed him, spreading the glistening dot sliding from the slit of his cock up, down and around his length. He raised his head a little and she looked at him. His eyes were the color of smoldering wildfyre, hers molten sapphires. He licked her top lip, smirked. She flushed and squeezed him the way he liked, as he taught her. His eyes momentarily closed before opening again, looking at her intensely. As she smiled back shyly, knowing she’d won this round, his eyes flashed and he suddenly grabbed her legs.

Brienne caught her breath as hoisted them around his waist and entered her in a single thrust. She squeezed her eyes shut, panting. She felt Jaime lick her cheek then he was softly coaxing her to open her eyes, to look at him. She could never refuse. _Wouldn’t._

Their breaths were sharp, hissing plumes striking each other in the face as they grinded against each other. He smiled blearily at the red blooming in her cheeks and getting more vivid. She squirmed and gasped, clutching at his shoulders. Her chest, her nipples, were going to be scraped red from his chest hairs after this. She didn’t care. Gods. Jaime felt so sinfully, deliciously, insanely good. No other feeling came close.

He scooped her broad hips in his hands, tilting them at an angle that had him hitting that magical spot inside her more surely. “Oh, Jaime,” she moaned, eyes falling close at the intensity. Firm lips feathered her cheek and she turned her head, needing his mouth, him. She locked her ankles around his back, pushing him deeper inside her. _Harder._

“Brienne.” He gasped. _“Gods, fuck, Brienne.”_

They growled as one when she suddenly tightened around him. Jaime’s head fell back and Brienne, sweating, flushed, out of breath, managed a grin before tightening around his cock once more. It locked him there. _Gods, there._ Combining her squeezing with a graceful roll of her hips, she felt the sharp whip of thunderclap. She cried out. Jaime hissed and pumped into her three more times before groaning and slumping on her chest.

“Brienne.” Because even when out of breath, Jaime wouldn’t stop talking. “I fucking love you.”

She blushed and kissed him sweetly on his sweaty neck. “Happy birthday.”

Jaime let out a pained groaned and rolled away from her. She shook with laughter, enjoying his disgruntled reaction. She turned so she could wrap an arm around him, fling her leg on his lean hip. As she kissed and licked him, blushing heavily, he muttered, “Fuck you.”

“Now, now, husband. We both know you need some time to recover.” She whispered in his ear, smiling as he shivered.

“You’re a cruel woman,” Jaime groaned dramatically. “Why did the gods curse me to love such a cruel woman? Really, wife? Today of all days you have to remind me of my age?”

She hid her smile against his nape and continued kissing him. Experimentally, she pinched his nipple. Jaime hissed so she did it again.

Jaime was not looking forward to turning fifty. Fifty meant old, tired, old, old, old. Brienne often teased her husband, although he was at least twice worse with her. Jaime was a good sport but turning out to be quite prickly about being half a century older. According to his assistant, Jaime had him making a list of Westerosi celebrities and other popular figures who were older than him.

“I think you’re the sexiest fifty-year-old,” she declared loyally. “Not to mention the biggest,” she thought to add as her fingers danced around his half-erect cock.

“What’s the point of being the biggest when I can’t fuck you again right after fucking you,” Jaime grumbled as she kissed his shoulder. “Fuck, I’m going to throw out my back one of these days. My knees will be history. You’ll leave me for a much younger man who will fuck you all day and night in positions that will give me a heart attack.”

Brienne rolled her eyes. Cersei had once warned her that Lannisters were not only dramatic. They were borderline hysterical. The men were worse.

“Just last month you had your exam. Your cholesterol is fine, everything about you is fine. As for my leaving you for a much younger man who will fuck me day and night, that is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said. Who wants to be fucked like that?”

Jaime whimpered, “I used to fuck you like that.”

Brienne blushed and stammered, “Jaime, you sent our children to Casterly Rock just last weekend so you can keep your cock in me all day. Your words, husband. Verbatim.” She couldn’t sit right for a few days and Jaime had to have his back checked.

“I used to fuck you like that at least four times a week.”

She laughed. “I don’t think so.”

“Turning fifty sucks.” He continued to complain.

Brienne rose on her knees and slapped him on the hip. “Turn around.”

“I can’t fuck you yet.” Jaime actually sounded like he was going to cry. It was so sweet. And ridiculous. Her husband was turning out to be a fifty-year-old baby.

“You’re right. This attitude sucks.” Brienne slapped him on the hip again and Jaime turned on his back. He was a frowning, glorious example of god-like perfection. Brienne felt  lightheaded looking at his sweaty-slicked muscles, the toned abs, hard, corded thighs and long legs with the bulging calves. “But I believe that you are right. Turning fifty can suck. If you look at it in the usual way.”

Though still sulky, Jaime’s curiosity was piqued. “What do you mean?”

In lieu of an answer, Brienne, blushing so hard she was red in the chest too, spread his legs. She moved between them and lay flat on her stomach. She cupped his cock and balls gently in her hands.

Realizing her intent, Jaime sat up. His eyes shone. “Hmm. I think I know what you’re talking about, wife. But I believe an actual demonstration should make your point clear.” He tapped his temple. “This old head is quite slow. And the hearing is about to go soon.”

“Oh, husband, I think it’s me who has to worry about her hearing.” She said coyly. Then she opened her swollen lips and wrapped them around his cockhead. It tasted of his salt and her musk. She sucked, making a humming sound.

“Gods, fuck, Brienne.” Jaime moaned. His fingers tangled in her pale hair and brushed them back. Her sapphire eyes looked at him. _“Oh, fuck.”_

Minutes later, Jaime was grinning from ear-to-ear, his hands pillowed under his head. Brienne was curled up against him. They smiled at each other.

“You’re right. Turning fifty doesn’t have to suck the usual way.”

“Told you.” She put her arm around his stomach happily.

He kissed her on the forehead and wrapped his arms around her. “You’re the best thing about this day. In all my days, wife. I love you, Brienne.”

“Shut up.” But she kissed him.

“Hmm.”

“What?”

He winked at her then suddenly turned so he was on his knees. Brienne tried to sit up but he urged her back down.

“Jaime?”

“You know, there’s this one sure-fire way that always shuts me up.”

Grinning devilishly, he spread her legs open. Brienne blushed violently and whimpered, “W-wait, Jaime, we just—“

“Who says we can’t? Again?” He asked, settling himself between her legs. He buried his nose against her cunt. “Ah. _You smell so fucking good._ Like warm, vanilla pastry. My personal Brienne pastry. Forget about getting me a birthday cake, wife. This is the only slice I want and I intend to eat it.”

“ _What?_ Jaime, wait, the children will be up—You were roaring—the children!“ Panicking, her eyes darted to the door. Jaime’s laughter infuriated her some more and she shot him a murderous look. Of course he was unperturbed.

“Then I suppose I should start, hmm? Oh, and I’d rather not talk when eating.” Jaime smirked at her, enjoying her furious blush and rapidly blinking eyes. “Bad manners, especially since I intend to keep my mouth full. I don’t believe in wasting a single drop, as you well know.”

“Shut up!” Brienne pleaded. “I don’t know what’s worse—dirty talk or a fifty-year-old dad talking dirty!”

“Youth is often wasted on the young with their strict adherence to rules. Let this wise old man educate you, my innocent, blushing, no-longer-maiden-wife. But look! And wonder at the sweetest, wettest cunt! Hmm, the cunt of the Maiden! Smells like it too. And I _know_ it’s going to be fucking delicious. Best thing I've ever had in my mouth. Well, it shares the top spot with your tongue and nipples. Also your finger after you've fucked yourself.”

“Jaime!” Brienne shrieked indignantly. “You’re being creepy!”

“But it’s a turn-on, as this shining evidence shows,” he said, looking at her cunt hungrily. Brienne covered her eyes with her hands.“Look how _wet_.  Happy birthday to me, indeed. You know, you haven’t sung for me yet, wife. And I just thought of way to make you sing. Come now. Give me those astonishing blue eyes of yours. Yes. Now,” his tongue flicked out and he licked his lips. _“Sing.”_

And Brienne, though mortified, yet immensely satisfied and the reddest she had been, did.

Oh, she did.

**Author's Note:**

> You made it! So what do you think? 
> 
> Thank you for reading. Champagne for everyone! 
> 
> P.S. I'd like to do some Tumblr Prompt fics. You can find me at Tumblr (I'm OhCaptainTarthister there and my page is called Oathsquealer) and leave your prompts there. The fluffier the better! The smuttier, well, that's awesome too! Or you can post them here in the comments. I'll accept twenty so get your fingers busy!
> 
> Eww. That came off WAY WRONG.
> 
> Anyway, you know what I mean!


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